Today, someone ask me ... why is the weather like that? That is how i feel at the moment. He replied, things will be fine. It's been rough. It's been really rough...

A huge part of me is lost, taken away and I deserve it. It's a feeling that only tears can express. I felt cheated by own. I brought myself to the next level to have get the courage to look into his eyes and believe that he made the right choice. It was hard. It wasn't something I want to do, or need to do but I have to do it. It was only fair and within time perhaps ... he will heal ... move on and ... find a better. I will grow but he will too. For better or worse, let time tell.

Some feelings would never change. It's a name and birthmark that lives with you forever. I am that kinda person. I will always fight for something I believe worth fighting for. But often, its not always you. Sometimes the best thing to do is cruelly hurt yourself to move on.

I am listening to the same melodic tune, season of fireworks. The same song I played 5 years ago when I left that special someone. Today, history repeats. Same mood, same song but different person. I suppose no one will every understand why I drown myself in sad songs. I suppose the imperfection in life makes you treasure the perfection in it.

Well ... I guess Fergie's right. Big girls don't cry....