I can't believe it. I have hurt the two most important person in my life within a short one month. One, my mum ... two, Kenny. Mum and I had a heart to heart talk earlier this morning and both of us end up crying. It was not about Wiggle, my new pet hamster ... but mainly it was about me ...

My system is crashing on me and yet I chin up and keep telling myself to be strong, to be wise and to be a better person. It's a difficult and painful path I have chosen to take ... but it is worth every second because it is for myself ... since my pillar cannot be by my side ... I shall be my own pillar ...

I swear I will never let them cry again. If I could take all their pain and bear it alone, I will because I love them truly and with no expectations. Forgive me mum for the things I have never did to make you proud ...